Okay okay, I told myself I wasn't gonna get mad about stupid shit, but come-fucking-on.
So here we are.
Divorce is a train wreck. Now I can't speak for everyone, but I can say with confidence that the majority of divorces do not end on a positive note. Yes it might be a blessing to no longer be married to the person who made my life miserable, but I won't say that I ever found joy in making moves to end my marriage. I grew up in a generation of parents who married during the time of "if it's broke, fix it" when it came to matrimony. However, a good percentage of my generation seemed to be missing the gene that aided you in repairing a marriage. Several people I knew from school were married, kids, divorced, in custody battles and remarried by the time they were thirty.
I am sad to say that I am a semi-partial statistic of my high school. Married at twenty, divorced at 32. Fortunately no kids. While I have always had desire to be a mother, I would never have forgiven myself for bringing a child into the world with someone who was as abusive and as selfish as he was. This is a catch-22 in my feelings sometimes. I'm childless, which crushes me, but I'm also free from physical and mental abuse which I'm happy about.
I was the one to file for divorce. And while I already knew my marriage was over, I filed first to protect my physical and mental well-being. But of course he was the victim. Always going on and on about how I never had anything (material of course) without him. How I'd never be able to survive on my own, etc. I'm not even sure why he threw a tantrum (aside from having to pay spousal support). He was already with her. They were already a family. This asshole had THE BALLS to brag to me that he "does yard work now". Thanks for that. Can I get a retroactive payment on all the yard work I did while YOU were playing video games OUR ENTIRE MARRIAGE??
So anyway. We got divorced, went our separate ways, didn't try to contact each other. Even about our dogs. I found out (not on purpose) through a mutual friend, that they got engaged. Good for them. Looking forward to hearing about their divorce in a few years. She'll take half his shit like she did her two previous ex-husbands....
Here's the part that makes me upset. He spent all this time during divorce sending me hateful text messages and emails. Even mentioning to his attorney that I had significant mental health issues and need to be institutionalized because I made up all the times he "allegedly" beat me. That he was the victim in our marriage and he feared for his life all the time. Okay WHATEVER. The state we live in is a no-fault state and if you don't want to be married, then you don't have to be. You don't get extra credit for being a good OR a bad human being. Get your un-matrimony on. Then move on. Don't you dare tell me how horrible of a person I was during our marriage. I wasn't the one standing over you, while you were beaten and bloody.
He told me (more than once), that he would NEVER legally bind himself to another human being because being married to me was so TREACHEROUS. That he would never put himself in a situation where he would have to give up half his shit (which he didn't with me). Needless to say I was not surprised that he got engaged to his girlfriend. If he went back on his promise to himself, to be married to the "love of his life" then who am I to stop him? He absolutely deserves to forget how much hell he put me through. He deserves to have himself a clean slate of a life because he fancies himself an upstanding human being.
Now here's the part that just plain pisses me off.
On my 30th birthday, after a very stressful day at work (on a Sunday, nonetheless) I came home already emotionally defeated. So he decides to tell me ON MY BIRTHDAY that he has decided not to be with me anymore. So then cue the start of a very long 2.5 years of getting divorced.
So my 34th birthday was a couple weeks ago. Pretty uneventful day, stayed home, did NOTHING. Flash forward to this week, and my friend accidentally spills the beans that the ex has remarried. Good for him, congratulations ahead of time for your shit inevitably falling apart at the hands of your wife.
AND THANKS A-FUCKING-LOT FOR GETTING MARRIED ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I mean, who does that? Who deliberately gets married on their ex-wife (who "wrecked their life")'s BIRTHDAY?
So needless to say I AM PISSED. I can't have anything anymore that is my own, and now I won't be able to get wasted and crash their wedding with my BFF cause we both (not secretly) HATE THE BRIDE.
It is what it is.
