Let me be honest. I can talk about mental health positivity until I am on the next Avatar movie. But let's be real, some days are purely me just talking out of my ass. Because if we are being truthful, my mental health has been significantly lacking lately. Here lately, no amount of sage, stones, well wishes or prayers have been able to lift my spirits.
And I am so anxious all the time. Today has been one of those days where it's hand-shaking kind of bad. And here's something else that never happens. I can barely look anyone in the eye because of it. That is not something I usually have difficulty with. I generally have no issue staring someone down, but that is definitely not something I'm super strong in anymore. And I don't have any real reason to shy away from people, unless my hormones are going crazy and I'm about to embarrass myself in front of a gentleman.
So how have I all of a sudden turned into a meek person? And no, there is nothing wrong with being meek. But I am not a shy, submissive person by any means. I am out, proud and loud about having straight up jacked up mental health issues. Am I skittish because my cup feels empty lately? Or did my subconscious discover something about me that I haven't realized yet?
I'm definitely gonna pray on it.
I spent a long period of time being treated in an unkind matter by someone who promised to love and support me forever. I was super in denial for a long time about it. But I dug myself out of that hole and stayed on an upward trajectory with my mental health. And I will stay on the positive path. But no journey is ever perfect. There are many rest stops, and this is just one of them. I need to gas myself back up and get my cruise control back online. I can't stay in this funk forever or I will just be all the things I swore I would never be on purpose.
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